The Wedding Show was being held at the America’s Center in Saint Louis. That means that we’d have to get ourselves into the city. I love the city, I hate driving and parking in the city. Luckily, the MetroLink has a stop right by the America’s Center. I drove to University City to Krystal’s apartment (for which I was late because the gas station didn’t give change with debit cards – fuckers). She showed me her dress, a short beaded strapless number that looked very cute. (Krystal and her husband, Jeremy, eloped years ago. This is just a reception (read: party) for the family and to appease Jeremy’s insane mother. Plus, Krystal wants a do over from her first husband.) She then drove us to the Delmar Loop MetroLink station where I discovered I had left my fan at home. (I carry a wooden pink fan around whenever I’m forced to be outside or in crowds. I get hot and the artificial breeze helps.) We found a spot of shade and waited for the next train. It was in the high 90’s and very sunny and I hate nature.
Ah, air conditioning inside the MetroLink car. Krystal wanted to sit backwards and I discovered how very much I did not like that. The last time I rode the MetroLink was over a decade ago. The America’s Center was about three blocks from the station we got off and I was not happy when we finally got inside again. I really, really wish I hadn’t forgotten my fan. We’re early because the first 150 brides to register get a gift certificate for wedding bands at some jeweler I can’t remember. She got the certificate, which was all she wanted. Already the line to get in was huge and we left to go find something to drink or eat. We crossed the street to the Starbucks attached to the hotel and I sucked down a pink lemonade gratefully. Man, that sun was brutal.
After that, we went back into the America’s Center and entered the expo room. It was packed. I hate people. I really, really missed my fan (mostly so I could hit people with it). They had everything there. There was clothing for brides, grooms, and bridesmaids; all in sizes that a normal person would never be able to fit in. There were samples and freebies everywhere and I ate more cake than I wanted. And one cookie that had that awful chalky frosting layered over it, the type that looks like plastic and tastes like it. Yuck. There were also some caterers there but they all seemed to think chicken was the only thing suitable to serve. There was candy and even truffles (that all melted on the walk back to the MetroLink station in the freaking heat).
It was about 1:00pm by the time we had seen everything. Krystal put her pink prize ticket into a candy and wine gift basket but they weren’t doing the drawing until 3:00pm. We weren’t going to watch the fashion show at 2:00pm but now we had time to kill and ended up watching anyway. The dresses the girls were wearing were nice but the men really got a reaction. You’d think they weren’t all engaged. I tried to take pictures, especially of the boys, but my camera doesn’t handle motion very well and they weren’t pausing long enough to get a good shot. (Men, dressing up makes you look gorgeous to us woman. Even a pair of dark jeans and a nice shirt will do. But if you really want us to go gaga over you, wear a suit with a waistcoat. Putty in your hands. Also, stand still damn it! I’m trying to take a picture of you!)
After the show we checked the prize drawing board (didn’t win) and left. (There was some sort of military thing going on at the same time and there were a bunch of men walking around in camouflage fatigues and dress uniforms. I about died.) We went down into the MetroLink station, discovered that we’d returned to the station we had gotten off of, went back up to street level, and crossed to the other platform for the west bound train. We were each carrying about three bags each with goodies and our purses by then. The train arrived and we dumped our stuff into a seat before collapsing ourselves. Then followed the mind numbing 20 minute journey back to the Delmar Loop station. We trooped back to the car (startling two girls walking by the car with the auto start) and drove back through traffic to Krystal’s apartment. (The Pageant was having a concert and we got caught in the arriving masses.)
We emptied the bags out onto the floor and went through everything. (Is that an oven mitt? Yes, yes it is. Oh, a shot glass. The truffles have melted…damn it!) A good time was had by all and many trees were destroyed in the making of useless pamphlets and information sheets. I petted Krystal’s cats (except for Jinx, who still won’t come anywhere near me) and left for home. God, I was exhausted and sore and sweating like a pig. I hate summer.
The lovely Krystal herself.